With the availability of semaglutide, there may be more and more people in your life who have lost a noticeable amount of weight. Which raises the question: If you know someone who’s taking weight loss meds, is it okay to talk with them about their weight loss, and to cheer them on? What are the weight loss comments to avoid?
Your intentions may be good, but still, you may unwittingly blunder into offending a person with something you say. A comment or question that seems innocuous or even complimentary to you can cause hurt feelings and put a strain on your relationship.
Before you say anything, pause and keep this in mind: Overweight and obesity carry a huge stigma. “Being obese is very hard in our culture,” says Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D., a psychologist based in Cincinnati, Ohio, who specializes in eating disorders. Anyone who has struggled with their weight has likely been dealing with unsolicited negative judgments and feedback for a long time.
Add to that their own range of often-complex emotions, which may include guilt and shame for not losing weight previously. Because of all of this, more attention to their physical appearance—even if it’s positive—may not be welcome.
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What not to say to someone who has lost weight
Which weight loss comments are better left unsaid—particularly when a person has lost weight with the use of weight-loss meds? Let’s take a look:
“You look great!”
Since being thin is held up as an ideal in our society, those who are overweight often receive harsh judgments from others. So when someone has lost weight, it’s common—and understandable—that you may want to compliment them. But this can be seen as a backhanded attempt at praise. The implication is that the person didn’t “look great” previously.
“You look so healthy!”
Again, it can be an unwelcome comparison, implying that the person looked unhealthy before. This sentiment also reflects societal bias that thinness equals good health, which isn’t necessarily true. And though people who take semaglutide are often doing it to improve their health, that can be an intensely personal topic. It isn’t anyone’s business but their own.
“How did you do it?”
This question also goes in the MYOB basket. Today, if you have a drastic weight loss, people will often assume that it’s due to taking weight loss drugs, says Rachel Goldberg, a therapist based in Studio City, California, who specializes in eating disorders and weight loss. Even if you’re curious, respect the person’s privacy. If they want to talk about how they’re losing weight, they’ll bring it up.
“You must be really happy!”
This comment suggests that being happy depends on losing weight and achieving a certain body size. It also assumes that when someone loses weight, it increases their happiness, no matter what else is going on in their life. “When people are losing weight, they often do feel happy,” says Kearney-Cooke. But this comment can trigger negative feelings, she adds. The person who lost weight may wonder, “Did you think I was unhappy before?”
“Don’t get too skinny!”
This is one of the most offensive things to say about weight loss. You wouldn’t say to someone, “Don’t get too fat!” That clearly would be a rude comment. The same thinking applies here. Trust and respect that adults can take care of their own bodies without you chiming in.
How you can support someone who is losing weight
Whether or not you comment when someone has lost weight depends on different factors, including how close you are to the person. For instance, is it a work colleague or your BFF?
Comments about other people’s bodies never belong in the workplace. Hopefully, that’s obvious! But if it’s a close friend, a conversation might be more appropriate.
“When you have a very open relationship with the person, I think it’s okay to be a little bit more open about weight loss,” says Goldberg. For example, with a close friend, you could say something along the lines of, “Hey, you look different. Open to talking about it?”
Otherwise, it’s safest, and most respectful, to err on the side saying nothing. “In general, just don’t comment on people’s weight,” Goldberg says.
If someone brings up their weight loss themself and shares that they’re taking semaglutide, Kearney-Cooke recommends simply asking, “How can I support you?” and then follow their lead.
That way, you can see in which direction they’ll take the conversation and how open they want to be. And you’re also letting them know that you’re there to help bolster their efforts, if that’s something they would welcome.
If you think a weight loss medication like semaglutide might be right for you, chat with a ReflexMD Wellness Advisor now. Or take our short quiz to see if you qualify.
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